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New Years Resolutions, Predictions, and Comments

Web posted on December 30, 2015

A Curmudgeon's View

By Les Enekes

I hope everyone had a great Christmas. By now all the turkey leftovers should be gone, and the Christmas Cake (aka fruit cake, and no jokes or myths this year) digested. If you got up early and braved the Boxing Day sales, I hope you have recovered. I slept in and enjoyed a nice relaxing day.

Yes it's that time of year when everyone makes resolutions for the upcoming year. I have a few of my own. I promise to spend more time going after local and provincial politicians, they deserve a lot more attention than I have given them. It is an election year down south and I will have a lot to say about that. There are some very interesting characters involved in that race. There are a few international leaders out there who deserve some of my attention. Of course, there are lot of things here in Guelph that are begging for my comments. I also promise that I will have a lot more to say about non political issues from garage sales to unreality television shows and maybe even a Galaxy Far Far Away. I also promise that I will play nice a few times as well. There will be more puns and bad one liners.

Here are some very generic predictions that you can`t go wrong with. We will have all sorts of new political scandals at every level, and some old ones will come back. Politicians will do stupid things. Mother Nature will show us who is boss. There will be the usual disasters both natural and man made, not to mention the occasional airline disaster that the media loves to cover, and of course terrorist attacks. There will be the usual mass shootings down south. There will be new mysteries created and old ones solved. There might be an assassination or two and maybe a government overthrown. There will be the usual conspiracy theories. All of this adds up to just another typical year. One does not need to be psychic to come up with this list.

Then there are the specific predictions guaranteed to happen. The Maple Leafs will not win the Stanley Cup. Another Toronto sports team will choke. They will not find Jimmy Hoffa. Justin will not walk on water. There will be no explanation for The Donald's hair, or Don Cherry's fashion sense. OK, I admit I just had to get those two in the same sentence. "Mythbusters" will go out with a Big Bang at least that's my theory. Again, something that I just had to get out of my system.

I have followed tradition with some predictions and resolutions, but that's where it ends. I am going to pass on doing a year end review. I haven't been doing this column long enough. I figure if I didn't have a go at it the first time around, it wouldn't be right to comment now. I see no reason for any year end awards as I covered that with my lumps of coal last week. I do want to thank all politicians everywhere for your ongoing and very generous support. You are giving me a lot more material than I can handle, so enough already. Without you it would be a very boring world and I wouldn't have much to write about. Right now I have several months worth of columns in various stages of construction. All it takes is an interesting news item, or a random thought for me to start a page then keep coming back to it until it's ready to be published. There are times when my carefully planned sequence of columns gets overtaken by events, such as the terror attack in Paris.

To all my readers, have a very Happy New Year, enjoy the party, and please don't drink and drive.

Les Enekes can be reached directly by owl. For those not owl equipped, he can be reached at

The views of columnists in The Fountain Pen do not necessarily represent the views of the principals of the publication.

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