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Uncle Doug's Glossary of Political Terms

Web posted on November 07, 2006


Dear Editor:

As a result of the numerous recent articles and letters regarding the upcoming municipal election, it has occurred to me that many of the most commonly used terms may be unfamiliar to many people. It is for this reason, as a public service, that I have provided this brief, yet informative list of Uncle Doug's Glossary of Political terms.

Accountability: - The term used to describe the lack of recourse available to the public when dissatisfied with political representation. ( see also Myth).

Developer: - Any builder willing to, for profit, build a house not located in St. George's Square that is larger than 25 square feet in size.

Dysfunctional: - A term used to describe a person or group unwilling to have the views of others, in the minority, imposed on them.

Environmentalist: - A term used to describe those who believe, as a result of rumors and junk science, that five animals die every time a light bulb is turned on. (See also, hippie, beatnik and Chicken Little).

Forward Thinker: - A term used to describe a person so self centered that they are unwilling to examine their own past errors.

Grass Roots Advocacy Group: A thinly veiled front for left wing political wannabes, whose only concern is furthering their own agenda. (See also NDP, Guelph Civic League, Residents for Sustainable Donations or OPRIG).

Heritage Property: A term used to describe an old, broken down shack or barn, which if demolished will surely be replaced by a house much better than yours.

Waste Management System: - A method whereby residents are forced to place assorted coloured bags filled with tax dollars out by the curb each week so that people in France will see how swell we are. (See also, Tony Soprano).


AND LAST, BUT CERTAINLY NOT LEAST

Social Activist: - A person willing to spend the last three years complaining about the last election. This term also applies to the friends, relatives, benefactors and political hangers on who have also spent the last three years whining about how stupid and unenlightened the rest of us must be. (See also, Farbridge, Shapka, Downer, Laidlaw, Bennett etc.).


It's just my opinion, I could be wrong.


Doug Roach Guelph


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