The Fountain Pen, Guelph's On-Line News

Bit More Of An Introduction And A Free Plug

Web posted on October 19, 2015

A Curmudgeon's View

By Les Enekes

All that's left to do is to vote, count the ballots, and whine, and there will be a lot of that starting as soon as the results start coming in. I plan to let the dust settle a bit before commenting on the election campaign and the results. It takes time to recover and analyse all the data from the "black boxes."

Our other Official Language has a very elegant sounding term to describe a lot of what I plan to do: Distributeur de Merde. The English version makes it sound so crude, so I will try to come up with as many creative descriptions as possible. My opinions are all over the place, thus having both the right and left love me and hate me at the same time. I have yet to find a Political Party that shares all of my views. Politicians won't be my only targets, they are just the easiest. I can stick it to them over and over again, and they will come back for more skewering. It's almost as if they get some sort of pleasure out of it. Many times I will take a long and circuitous route (keeping it around 600 words, just to keep my editors happy and not bore you) to make a point. You will find my sense of humour somewhat drier than the Atacama Desert, and slightly warped at times. I will try to be light hearted about most things and even offer some rather creative and unusual solutions. So many windmills to tilt at, so little time.

When I retired from my day job, I also decided to take a break from a lot of hobbies and interests as well. I will drop all sorts of hints about my "past lives" in future columns. I have picked up some new and interesting vices. Saturday mornings will find me at garage sales or church bazaars depending on the season. I try to hit as many real live legitimate auctions as possible. I also seem to spend way too much time writing about events around me.

No matter how many times I reread and edit my works, I always seem to find a typo, or small mistake. Therefore I will leave some for you to find. I prefer to hint at names, products, or companies, just to make you stop and think for moment. I like to refer to our Beloved Political Parties by colour rather than name. I don't like giving free plugs unless they really truly deserve it. I will give praise when deserved, but I will be the first to complain.

Disclaimer: The opinions expressed here do not necessarily reflect the views of the author, but are here to mess with your mind and circulatory system. If you don't like my views, observations, or opinions, start your own column. You will not find me on any anti-social media. I like to keep my digital footprint as small as possible. If you really truly want to get in touch with me, send an owl. If it finds me, I will answer.

Unsolicited Free Plug: Don't forget the Friends of the Guelph Public Library Giant Used Book Sale, this weekend at 389 Speedvale Avenue West. They also have records, CDs, movies both DVD and VHS. Don't miss it. It's the shopping event of the year, better and much cheaper than Black Friday and Boxing Day combined. It's also for a really good cause.

The views of columnists in The Fountain Pen do not necessarily represent the views of the principals of the publication.

Other Stories of Interest

A Curmudgeon's View - Final Election Thoughts
( October 17, 2015 )